Live by the bottle, spoiling my liver

with 7 comments

(Disclaimer: wrote this when I was drunk, pardon the language, no connotations intended)

Drinking alone is not really something out of the norm for me here. It is always the most loyal company I have, always reliable, always available; I can always be sure that it will be here for me. And to think of it, it felt like just not so long ago that I joked with my friends that a person drinking alone must have some serious problem- that there most be something seriously wrong for a person to do so- ironic isn’t it?

You don’t have to contact your companion prior to that, you don’t have to make ‘appointments’ (I am really saddened by the fact that somebody who I thought would be cool with me just dropping by and ask to out for lunch told me that I have to make an appointment, today; but I keep that for later), you don’t have to contact again to confirm your outing, you don’t have to cover the cost of transportation for them, you don’t have to give filler conversations, you don’t have to laugh at their unfunny jokes. Of course you don’t, when you are talking to no one but yourself.

I have a friend at home who are worried that I drink too much when I am here. Let me assure her here: I am not drinking very much, I only drink just to make me sleep better. The mattress that I have here suck big time; it make noises whenever I shift my body, there are many nights that didn’t get deep sleep just because of that.

I had a lousy dinner just now and I didn’t eat that much to last me for the night, it’s already 2 a.m. now and I am drinking on an empty stomach. I suddenly being reminded of a news, a true story I’ve read about; that there were three guys who drank together at an apartment one night, all night long. They finished 15 bottles of Chivas that night itself. Guess what, one of them was found dead the next day. Now I wonder if someday I might just overdrank and died as a result of it, maybe tonight and you read this blog entry in the news and not on tippingpoint[dot]wordpress[dot]com as it is now considered as an evidence of the case. No post-mortem needed: a clear case of alcohol poisoning.

It will go something like:

“Kuching: A 24 year old academic staff of a public university here was found dead in his apartment from the over consumption of alcohol. The case was unraveled when the neighbours felt something amiss when they do not see the deceased going to work or coming back from it for a few days. It was when the neighbour tried to peek inside of the apartment unit that they discovered a body lying on the floor, next to a bottle of what it was believed to be a bottle of locally produced liquor. Police has identified the death as caused by substance overdosed and deny any foul play in the case, as the door of the apartment was locked from the inside and there was no sign of struggle or any apparent bruises on the deceased body.

XXX, the 24-year-old male was regarded as a friendly young man who leads a normal, healthy lifestyle. Many of the deceased friends were shocked when they learnt about the death. They described the death as bizzare and something that they “didn’t anticipate” as he seems to be a jovial person. They have expressed their deepest regret over the incident that have happened. It was something that they deeply felt was preventable.

“I should have known better” said the deceased’s friend who wish to be unnamed, when interviewed. “XXX was trying to tell me something, that he was lonely and has no people to talk to there, where he was at”. An investigation by theStar at the deceased blog at confirmed that the victim might have suffered from an acute case of depression from the various postings on his blog regarding isolation, loneliness and a strong attachment to alcohol. It was believed that the victim resorted to strong liquor as his solace.

The body of the deceased was transported back to his home at Shah Alam for funeral procession. The family of the deceased declined to comment on the matter”

It’s so much fun writing a piece of news about your own death. This isn’t the first time I imagined of my own death. Many times, especially when I am in a vehicle, I have sort of fantasise about the bus plunging into a deep ditch. That during the plunge, there will be an extraordinary sensation of weightlessness before the impact on the ground brought by gravity. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.  A (wo)man made from dirt and now back to where (s)he belonged, once again reunited with the elements, once again existing as one.

I’ve read somewhere that death is just a second of difference from being alive. Very true. That one second that makes all the difference whether you are dead or not. That one last breath. You probably would not even realise it when it happens- and pop! suddenly, you are dead. Period. Hell, the only thing that was sure of you being alive is death, anyway.

And suddenly, all the things that seems to matters the most to you right now became trivial. The job obligations, that million dollar project, you relationship with your colleague and co-workers, your effort to build up your reputation at workplace, your car, your boss and all your worries. Doesn’t matter anymore. I guess that is why death always seems to be a very attractive option for those who suffer a bout of depression. It solves everything. It is the ultimate even ground setter. It is the end of all your worldly problems.

(Pouring drinks)


See you at the bottom of the glass.


Written by yuenkokleong

October 1, 2007 at 2:18 am

7 Responses

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  1. hei, u dont scared me goodness..Hope u r ok and of course dont drink too much o. You still have a girl fren that waiting for you a. Anything call me lo..remember…”u call me” not the other way round. =P..
    Hope you have a nice sleep tonight.


    October 1, 2007 at 10:00 am

  2. ya, and u expected this post to put wk’s mind at ease.


    October 1, 2007 at 4:43 pm

  3. I can’t help it. I wrote and the flow leads me there. I am an asshole.


    October 2, 2007 at 3:39 am

  4. yes, u’re an asshole!
    but we still love u anyway. =D


    October 2, 2007 at 4:05 am

  5. Shit.. I am imagining my own death already~! Suck u!


    October 3, 2007 at 3:32 pm

  6. Haha.
    Welcome Christina LSL!
    Hope that you had fun reading this.
    We should all realise, and not deny, that all of us are going to die someday. It makes leaving easier.


    October 4, 2007 at 2:28 am

  7. true.. I agree. I will start buying more insurance and prepare my will so that when I die in a shitty way, my family becomes millionnaire..

    How bout that? =_=


    October 4, 2007 at 4:34 pm

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